We Cheat Ourselves
by contradictively ironic
Summary: I'm pregnant." She came, she loved, she left. But Edward's not going to give up without a fight. A story about how five minutes could change everything you've ever known. Eventual ExB 'M' for dark themes.


_**AN: Huzzah. New story. **_

_**Characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.**_

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_Tuesday_

_January 5__th__, 2011_

_11: 13 AM_

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see that he was watching her again. She could feel the heat from his intense stare, creeping up her back, to her neck, and then to her face. She willed herself not to blush but it was no use. The familiar warmth filled her cheeks and she hoped to herself that he would not notice.

"Mr. Cullen, would you like to explain to the class about what is so interesting about the back of Miss Swan's head?" inquired Mr. Banner.

He coughed and cleared his throat before answering, "No, Mr. Banner."

She didn't know how much more worse this could get. Did he have to make it so obvious? She didn't need any more reason for everyone to think she was a freak. The rumors would only get worse…

"Then it would do you well to join us as we delve further into the study of…" his voice drifted away as Isabella tried lose herself into her notebook again. This one, all new with the pages still neatly intact within the wires and stain-free felt odd to her. Like someone had given her an extra arm or leg. But she had no choice given what had happened to her old one.

Her pencil squeaked against the page and she inwardly winced. This was why she used pens, but hers was left at home in her Trigonometry book. Everything was just a mess, and she was so tired that simple details escaped her, like remembering to bring her book with her today. Last night she fixed herself a fruit salad with avocados and raspberries, forgetting that she _hated_ avocados more than anything.

"_It is not the same…"_

"_What is not the same?"_

"_Us."_

Those eleven words have been mocking her for the past ten minutes. Taunting her. Katarina and Nathaniel were pleading her to continue their story. Katarina wanted Isabella to throw Nathaniel's cheating ass to the curb, tell him that no matter what he does, he'd still be a lying bastard in her eyes. Deliver justice that only Isabella knew how to do.

Isabella had the words. She knew how the story would go. She knew Katarina's fate and how tragic it would end. How she would end up damaged and torn apart. How she would starve herself and end up dying from fatigue because she refused to live another day without her lover, but would die from a broken heart if she stayed with him.

Nathaniel would ride off into the sunset, knowing that his first and only love rejected him. But he would continue to live, and end up serving in the war, rising up in the ranks until he'd die as a beloved general.

Isabella sighed. She knew it was unfair to Katarina, but this was how her dreams at night would always end. Her characters did not deserve to be treated so cruelly, but what else could she do?

Her pencil would not move though. Her hand remained unmoving despite how much she urged it to write.

The bell rang. Katarina and Nathaniel were saved until after lunch. The voice of Nathaniel inside of Isabella's head sighed in relief.

A warm hand gripped her elbow, and before she knew it, she was being led to an empty classroom.

"What do you want Edward," she said in a resigned voice.

His hand was still on her elbow, but the anxiety that she felt months before when she first met him melted away. She was too used to it. After all, he was the only person who touched her physically anymore. Everyone else was too repulsed by her to come anywhere near her.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" His voice was low, almost in a whisper. She didn't know why he was whispering, considering that no one ever came near this classroom during lunch. She would know. She spent every lunch in this classroom for the past four years.

"I – "

"And don't say that you haven't because you know damn well you have. You never look my way in Chemistry. Every phone call I make to your house is answered by your father who hangs up the phone the minute he hears my voice. And no matter how many times I try to talk to you, you somehow conveniently sneak away."

"I – "

"Do you know how worried I've been about you? You're so skinny and those bags under your eyes show how tired you are. What are you doing to yourself?"

"Stop fucking interrupting me!" she screamed. Her brain told her it was a bad idea to go down this path, that the best thing to do would be to run for the door. Run as fast as she could and never glance back. But her legs wouldn't move. They felt like they weighed a thousand tons.

Her breaths came out in short spurts. She tried to calm herself down but to no avail. "We broke up three weeks ago, Edward. You have no right to worry about me. We are no longer together and that means what I do is none of your business."

"Wrong. It's my business and you know it."

"Get the fuck out of my life, Edward. Let me go."

"Just answer me this. Do you still love me?"

She had no answer for him. She knew that she did but she could never let him know that. She could never give herself away like that again and leave herself so vulnerable. Just like the story of Nathaniel and Katarina, hers and Edward's would not have a happy ending.

"Goodbye Edward." She walked out the door.

And he let her.

_Saturday_

_October 31__st__, 2010_

_7:27 PM_

"But Charlie!" Isabella whined. If she had known that her father would react like this, she would've never told him in the first place.

"No buts. You're going to that party tonight, end of discussion." He took his dish and hers to the sink and began to wash them. It wasn't long before his daughter was next to him, ready to make her next point.

"I don't want to hear it, Bells. Look honey, since you've moved back here, you've been a great help around the house. I eat a hell of a lot better now than I did back when I had to fend for myself. But you're seventeen. No one calls the house and I never see you go anywhere except for the grocery store and back."

Charlie Swan stopped what he was doing to frown at his daughter. He loved her, just as much as he loved his ex-wife, possibly even more. But why can't she see that he was doing what was best for her? Granted it was for a purely selfish reason – perhaps if Isabella lived her life as much as possible, she would not abandon him in later years.

Isabella frowned in response to her father's frown. What was he thinking? Did he really think that she wanted to go to a party full of horny teenage boys and trampy girls dressed up as miniature playboy bunnies?

"Fine. But I'm not wearing a stupid costume," she said, resigned.

Her dad laughed, pulled her close to him and said, "Didn't think you would, Bells."

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_8:20 PM_

Charlie dropped her off at the Newtons' driveway. The house was decorated with an abundance of Halloween decorations. Lights hung from the branches of trees, illuminating what would have been a dark October night.

Music could be heard from inside the house. _The latest mainstream pop song_, Isabella thought.

She deliberated whether or not she could make a run for it without anyone noticing her absence – like they noticed before – but the impatient horn coming from her dad's 1953 Chevy truck convinced her that it was no use. She inhaled a deep breath and walked up to the front door. Then, she knocked tentatively.

The door opened, and Mike Newton's overenthusiastic mother greeted her, "Isabella! How wonderful to see you! Michael said that you weren't attending, but this is just the most pleasant surprise! Come in, come in. Everyone's in the living room. Make yourself comfortable."

Isabella forced a smile at the woman's cheery demeanor.

_She looks ridiculous in that pumpkin outfit. How she made her way downstairs in beyond me._

Everyone from school appeared to have been there. Jessica, with her short French maid outfit was laughing at a joke that some guy in a pirate's costume was telling her. Lauren was next to her in another outrageously indecent outfit that made Mr. Newton, who was sitting in an armchair by the fireplace blush furiously when he looked her way.

No one paid her the slightest attention, which made her grateful. She didn't want anyone to see her here. Unfortunately, lasting two hours without being seen was unlikely – even if she hid in the bathroom for most of the time.

It was as if God was testing her patience, because no sooner had she found a discreet corner to stand in, did the bane of her existence come up to her.

"Hey Bella," greeted Mike. His short blond hair was miraculously groomed into a Mohawk, and his toned body was clad in a leather jacket and the tightest pants in existence. Isabella didn't know whether to laugh or cringe. So she settled for a nervous laugh and tried to divert her eyes.

"Hi Mike."

"Great party, huh?"

He had a genuine smile, and if he wasn't so damn persistent in trying to follow her around, he'd be one of her closest friends. It wasn't as if he was a jerk – quite the opposite. He was the nicest guys around. Mike was one of the most popular guys but he was friends with _everyone_. Including the Calc/Statistics geeks. But therein his problem lies. If Isabella was his friend, then people would _acknowledge_ her. They would see her as a person, and smile at her and treat her like a human being and…

Too much for one person who crave isolation to handle.

"Sure."

"I didn't think you were going to come tonight…"

"Yeah well…" She couldn't exactly say that she would rather light her hand on fire than come so she settled for not saying anything else.

After her last comment, there followed several minutes of awkward silence while she stared at the floor, and he at her.

"Yo Newton! We're out of the dip!" yelled one of his jock friends.

Mike gave an apologetic shrug, as if to say, "What can you do?" and left her with a promise to be back as soon as possible. She hoped that it would take him a while, so not to subject herself to another excruciating ten minutes of doing nothing but focusing on anything _but_ him.

After he left, Isabella contemplated ditching the party again, this time with more enthusiasm now that her father was gone and a couple of miles away. She could walk north for about twenty minutes and find a convenience store open 24/7, then armed with a cup of lukewarm coffee and a packet of Swedish Fish, she could return back to the party in time for Charlie to pick her up. By then, the evidence that she might have left would be disposed of and Charlie could pretend that his daughter had an awesome time with all of her friends.

_Yeah right. If I left, Mike will probably send a search party for me, and won't that be a fun way for my dad to bust me._

Having nothing better to do, Isabella avoided the groups of people dancing along with the music, and made her way outside to the backyard.

Hardly anyone was outside except for a couple making out by a jack-o-lantern. She steered far away from them and sat down on a bench by a tree covered with streamers.

She sighed. The cold autumn air nipped at her exposed hands and face. She wanted to go back inside, but that would mean risking another conversation with Mike.

Suddenly she felt another presence next to her. She prepared herself for another talk with Mike and prayed the Lord to give her strength not to scream into his face. When she turned around, she saw the last person she expected.

_Tuesday_

_September 2__nd__, 2009_

_7:21 AM_

"Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude, but you're in my seat," said a boy with the most vibrant copper hair. His eyes crinkled at the corner, all bright and happy.

Her cheeks flushed, she moved out of the boy's supposed seat and moved to sit at another empty desk behind the one she was previously at. Her first day at Forks High School and she already embarrassed herself and caused eyes to turn her way. It was bad enough that the tiny school had only three hundred students, making her stick out like a sore thumb, but now there was even more reason for people to stare.

The boy with the reddish hair and pretty green eyes turned around to face her. A smile formed on his face, one that looked like it was just for her. A small butterfly flew around in her stomach and she wanted to squish it. When did she get butterflies? There should only be angry little girls that eat butterflies like the ones she had right now for breakfast!

He spoke again, words tumbling out so fluently that it was like he rehearsed them several times in his head, "Hello, my name is Edward Cullen."

_Saturday_

_October 31__st__, 2009_

_9:01 PM_

"I didn't expect to see you here," he said. His face was only half visible to her, but his eyes still shone as brightly as ever.

"You're not the only one," she muttered.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you here?" His tone was not insulting, nor demanding. Curiosity, more like it.

She didn't know if she should answer him, because she didn't know herself. Besides, how was she going to explain that her _dad_ made her go? But then again… there was no harm in talking to him. He wasn't going to do anything stupid with the information she would give him. And if he did… well at least no one would come near her again. Not even Mike. So what did she have to lose?

"Same reason as you, I expect."

"You came here because your horribly annoying best friend threatened to destroy your CD collection if you didn't go too?" he said. He was smiling, she could tell.

There was no need for him to know that it wasn't a best friend – like she had one anyway – but rather, her dad that made her make an appearance at the party tonight. "Not exactly. But along the same lines."

He chuckled, as if he knew what she was hiding. He was the first boy to approach her on her first day of high school, and one of the two people who bothered to talk to her – Mike being the other one.

"You really are something, aren't you?"

"I am human, if that is what you mean."

He stood up and offered his hand to her. _His gloved hand._ "Come on, let's go inside. It's freezing out here. You're going to catch pneumonia."

She stared at him. Blinking, she shook her head. "You can go ahead. I'll be fine here."

Isabella wanted to go inside as much as he did, but she desired to be alone more than warmth.

"I'll stay with you until you decide to come with me. You don't want me to freeze either, do you? Please?" He bent down to her, until his face leveled with hers. His lips were bright red compared to his pale face, and the bottom lip was in a pout. She could say no, she could say no…

"Alright, fine." _So much for saying no._

"Excellent. Let's go."

Little did she know, it was the first of many times where she'd be unable to deny him anything.

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**AN: Yeah, so I have no idea how this story is going to turn out. I mean, I have a vague vision, but most of the time, I'm just going to wing it and go with the flow. One of the most important things to pay attention to, is the dates. We'll be jumping around **_**a lot**_**. So if you want to keep up, check the dates before reading. As for the posting schedule, that's going to be pretty erratic too. Each chapter will be around 2500 – 3500 words (not including the ANs.) No more, no less. So if you liked this first chapter (confusing as it may appear to many of you), please leave me a review. They're one of the best parts of writing a story.**


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